


The Snake and the Badger

by CapitolOfStalking



Series: Magically Alternative! [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Episode Fix-It: s04e08 Silence in the Library, F/F, F/M, M/M, SPACE GIRLFRIENDS, Space Wives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-02 13:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17265128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapitolOfStalking/pseuds/CapitolOfStalking
Summary: It's River Song's first year as the head of the house of Slytherin and she's facing the struggles of a human teacher life... At least that's what she's expecting.. But is that the reality? || Hogwarts AU || TIME C A N BE REWRITTEN.





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, here I am again...With another piece of writing. Though I know that there are other Hogwarts AUs out there, I hope you still give mine a chance! This is basically a re-boot of a fanfiction I wrote for 11 and River but never published. SO...Let's hope I can maintain this one.

The first day of school was always very special. Whenever the Hogwarts Express arrived at Hogsmeade, she watched the children storm out of the train. The excitement was more than visible, their smiles bright and their eyes shiny. She loved sitting on the wall at the station, her eyes fixated on the children like some sort of guardian before she made her way up to the castle. It was her first day as a teacher and she couldn’t be late...Right?

She wore her best gown, her curls were tamed and she was sitting in the middle of the table, next to the headmistress. The great hall was packed with chattering children, enjoying their first day. They were standing in a line, waiting for their sorting. Shifting and giggling. A sigh escaped her mouth, as she took a sip from her red wine. It wasn’t quite fair, how long this always took.It was torture to stand and wait when even the Professors were annoyed. Such a waste of time.

But that’s when the Headmistress stood up and the hall went silent. Professor Idris raised her glass and smiled in the crowd. 

“Good evening, my dear students.” She said more than cheerful. “As you may know, my name is Professor Idris and as your Headmistress, I’m happy to welcome you in and back. This year we are not only welcoming our new students but also our very own student Professor Song back. The new house-teacher of Slytherin and teacher for the subject ‘The history of magic.’. We also have a new nurse, Miss Jones, who’ll welcome both students and teachers in the hospital wing, whenever it’s necessary. Please approach her with any worries.”   
The crowd clapped in her hands and River stood up, raising her glass exactly like the woman before did. 

“Hello, my loves. I’m very excited and proud to be back at Hogwarts. The smartest of you might already have guessed it, but so many years ago I stood right where you are standing now, at the beginning. I hope we’ll have a fun time together. So… Since you’re all getting impatient now, I’d like to suggest that we start the sorting now.”

A man to her right stood up and walked away from the table, carrying the sorting hat. If she was honest, that was the moment she stopped paying attention to the crowd. Seven years at Hogwarts taught her, that the sorting was really not the most exciting thing. Instead, she looked at her colleagues. She had only met a few of them when she was decorating her dorm.

At the other end of the table, there were the house teachers of Gryffindor, Dorothy McShane, and Ravenclaw, Sarah Jane Smith. Next to them were her parents who didn’t look a single day over thirty-two. Next to them was a man she didn’t know, then Idris Idris, headmistress. 

On the other end, there were only she, two people she didn’t recognize and a blonde woman. She looked very odd in her bright yellow dress with her big smile. It was rather amusing that she was playing with her wand instead of watching the newest additions to her house. Hufflepuff was her guess. Maybe it was the yellow that gave it away. Maybe it was the small badge sewn to her cloak.   
River hadn’t even noticed how long she watched the blonde fiddle with her wand, like one of the first graders would do. Well, it certainly was long enough for the plates to fill themselves. 

~*~

When she left the table, she felt like a student all over again. It was the same way out that she used for so many years, but it had a different touch to it. For one, her parents became teachers at Hogwarts in her second year and they never walked this way together once. They basically ignored each other almost the whole school year long. It was only a topic when she had to decide if she wanted to go to a friend’s place over the holidays or if she wanted to home.

When she was still a kid, she loved going to Hogwarts. Her mother used to hold her hand and tell her that she should be very, very brave. Her father kissed her goodbye before they left her at the train station, like all the other parents, before they made their way to Hogwarts themselves, as teachers. They spent their summers in Leadworth, at her grandparent's house and any other holiday in Hogwarts. It really wasn’t like she didn’t know her way around, really. This place was her home. She knew how to sneak in and out. All the secret ways. All the not so secret ways. She knew everything and despite her profession, she wouldn’t be too harsh with the rules. Blame it on her age, but she loved all the glorious mischief that the old castle sparked in her and her peers. 

Rules were made to be broken.

She stretched before she strutted down the hallway, her mother beside her. They were headed towards the big staircase where they would split, smiling the biggest smiles.   
“My baby is a Professor!” Was the first thing her mother had said before she hugged her tightly. She swore that her mother sobbed once before she kept on talking. “I’m so excited for your first day of teaching, Mels. But now I must comfort your father. He’s probably a wrack already!” She laughed and pressed a kiss on her cheek before she stormed off. A very common situation for them. No bystander could possibly identify as mother and daughter, but still. She heard footsteps behind her and as soon as she turned around, a hand was offered to her. 

“Hello, Sweetie.” River purred, quite surprised by her reaction. Somehow it felt right to greet the living sunflower that way. She did look adorable in yellow.  
The blonde smiled at her. “I’m the Doctor. I’m excited to meet you, but...don’t let it sound offensive...but you look about the same age as your parents...To my defense - They look very young...Did I offend you? I hope I didn’t ruin this conversation already!” Her words were uttered at a worrisome speed and she had troubles keeping up with it. “I know that I went to Hogwarts with a girl with the last name Pond, but not a Song!” The blonde said and raised both of her brows, expecting an explanation, as they shook hands. 

“I was born as Melody Pond, but after someone cursed me when I was a child...I aged a bit quicker. Took the Ministry ages to figure out how to stop the process, a few weeks after graduation. That’s when I changed my name.” River shrugged. It wasn’t the story you’d usually tell a stranger, but as a Professor she shouldn’t be opposed to honestly answering questions.

“Oh my God, I remember you! You were four years under me. You probably don’t remember me, though!” The Doctor said with that weird glimmer in her eyes as if she remembered some important information. What she said was right, though- She didn’t remember her. 

“We should catch up tomorrow, shouldn’t we? Astronomy Tower at twelve. I’d really like to find out what else you know about me.” River spun around, stepping on the stairs. When she looked back up, the Doctor was just standing there, watching her. 

“Spoilers, love.”


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Tower of Hogwarts

 

“Good morning, my darlings. I’m Professor River Song, the new head of Slytherin and the one teacher that’s responsible for you. So...Do me a favor and don’t get us all in trouble /too/ often.” She said and waved her wand around, mumbling something right after that. A list appeared and she put her wand away. 

“I’ve received a list of students that have shown...no interest in the subject I’m teaching and still take it every year. Apparently, you had a boring teacher in the past few years and always slept through the lessons. Can’t blame you, did the same when I was your age, but that’s not gonna happen. I didn’t study history and archeology for nothing, yeah?” River smiled sweetly and the students groaned. Well, it really wasn’t her problem, was it? If that’s how they wanted to act, that was their problem. History could be fun and she wanted to prove it to them.

“The lucky ones are Oswald, Clara...Khan, Yasmine and Harper, Owen. The rest can leave now and head to breakfast. Thank you.” 

The three students remained in the common room, collecting themselves in the center, squeezing onto a green sofa. It was quite a nice view and amusing how three completely different students all fit into the same categories. Clara was a petite girl in her fifth year. Her uniform was neat and she didn’t seem very surprised. Yet, she leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her chest, while the other girl, Yasmine, a year above Clara, looked like a kicked puppy. Her hair was up, braided. Like Clara’s uniform, hers was fine...Only her tie was missing, but that wasn’t the biggest disgrace in the room. In fact, she just rolled her eyes when she saw him. Owen Harper, the man of the group, was as old as Clara, but puberty was hitting hard. He looked like he just escaped out of the musical Grease and she really wouldn’t have been surprised, if he started to sing. His hair was messy but greasy, he had a sucker in his mouth and wore shades...inside the castle….in September. 

“Will you give us extra homework or something?” He asked with a groan. Oh yes. she thought. She was sure that he thought that he looked very attractive, while in reality...He looked just plain stupid. 

“Shut up, Owen! Don’t get us in trouble.” Yas rolled her eyes and River really related to it. Clara just buried her face in her hands for a few moments, before she looked back to her mates. “Seriously, Owen. I hate being compared to you because you’re an idiot.”

“Oh no, dear. I’ll just ‘abuse’ you as my personal assistants for the year if you don’t pay attention. Cleaning after me, cleaning after your classmates...My lesson planning. Oh, I can be a real pain in the ass. What are your plans after school? Job-wise?”

This time it was Clara’s time to speak up. “I wanna be a teacher. I’m a half-blood, so I don’t know if I wanna teach English or a magical subject yet. It’s hard to pick between the worlds.” 

To be fair, History of Magic would be just as useless as ancient runes and studies, if those kids worked in a Muggle job. Lately, it became quite the trend to just leave the magic world after graduation and just see a different way of living. Boring, in her opinion.

“I wanna be an Auror.” Was all she said with a shrug. That’s when all the eyes went back to Owen, who mirrored the shrug and looked away. 

Okay, those were career choices she could work with. Something about those students made her think, as she sent them out. The last to leave was Clara, who looked at her like she’d seen a ghost. 

“Excuse me, but...Have we met before?” River asked and furrowed her brows. Something about her face reminded her of someone. But she had no idea where they would have met. Clara tilted her head and studied her face for a few seconds as if she was looking for an answer. “You seem familiar. But I don’t know why.” Her student said and followed her house-mates to the great hall. 

It was weird. River felt shivers making their way down her spine. This girl reminded her of...someone. Reminded her of something. Still, she couldn’t quite grasp it. 

~*~

Making her way to breakfast was pointless. She knew that her first lesson would start in about half an hour and she was not exactly prepared for teaching a bunch of sixth years. River looked around before she left the Slytherin common room. She had gathered all of her students early in the morning, held a speech and encouraged them to give their best. Now she was making her way up to the third story, to room 4F. Students were chatting on the staircase, clinging to each other, when it started to move all of a sudden. You couldn’t always know exactly where the stairs would lead, but she remembered that she, herself, got a feeling for it a few months into her first year. But who was she to judge the older students who behaved like they never witnessed this? Maybe this generation was very scatterbrained.

Even though the stairs swung over, River strutted up, not even slightly swaying in her high heels. Just because she was a teacher she didn’t have to look like a boring prude. That totally wasn’t the condition she had signed, when she applied for this job. But then again, she didn’t remember the application process at all. Another weird thing. She was ripped out of her thoughts when someone grabbed her arm and lead her up further, as the stairs “docked” to the third floor. The grip loosened and River followed her savior just in time before the stairs swung over again. Her eyes followed the movement before she looked back up at...the blonde from the night before. She had a huge blue leather bag strapped to her waist and wore some rather amusing clothes. A nice blue shirt and a shirt with a rainbow print...and a passive coat. 

“You seemed distracted. Thought I’d take you to your classroom and uh, you know. Wish you luck.” The Doctor said and shrugged. It was a small, but nice gesture and she really appreciated it. “I was just thinking about my own time at Hogwarts. How I looked in this uniform...I think I looked quite cute.” River laughed as she started to walk away from her. her colleague just ran up to her. 

“How can you walk in those high-heels? Forget this question; How can you do /anything/ in those! This is bloody murder!” 

“Practise. You have no idea what I can do in them. I guess you could say we have a bit of a spoiler situation here, don’t we?”

 

“Spoilers?”

“Oh, sweetie. You’ve got a lot to learn.”

Her voice was a purr, similar to the one you’d hear from a very spoiled cat and the blonde raised a brow, as she walked behind her. 

“Okay...Are you excited for your first lesson?” The Doctor asked, as she reached out to the handle of a door, River never noticed. It was a storage room, filled with books. “And what books do you need? It’s a bit of a mess, but I can find everything!”

“I need some copies of.. “A History of Magic.” We are talking about the Werewolf Code of Conduct. We need to do some revision. I heard that it didn’t work very well for my students and that they hate the subject. Such a shame.”

River pursed her lips, when the Doctor handed her a bag and started to make her way through the towers of dusty books. It would be a miracle if she found anything in here, she thought and made a mental note to help her out someday. It was unbearable how dirty this room was. Still, she gave her the benefit of the doubt, leaned against the wall and watched the blonde. She tried really hard and it was more than obvious. It was really sweet, she couldn’t deny it, but with every minute that passed by, she realized how unlikely it would be.

But she kept on waiting until the blonde walked up to her. Her hair was a mess and she was covered in dust, as she grabbed her bag. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to find them.” 

“It’s fine, Sweetie. Did you check them all?” River asked amused when her eyes fell on a few books the Doctor had missed.. They looked like they hadn’t been moved in a while, so River just grabbed her wand and moved it through the air. 

“Accio “History of Magic.” She murmured and grinned when exactly the same stack of books came flying. With another spell, she kept them floating in the air.

The Doctor groaned and shook her head. “I always forget that things like that are possible! I always forget that I am a wizard.”   
The sheer statement made her laugh until she looked at the clock. 

“Fuck. Sweetie, as much as I appreciate your company, move your ass. We’re going late for our own lessons..” River groaned, but the Doctor just grinned.

She took her hand kicked the door open and looked at her. 

“Run.”


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The first day is never easy. 

Before she could fix her outfit or her hair, the Doctor pushed her into the classroom, the books following her in and crashed on the ground. Instead of leaving the embarrassment be, the Doctor followed in and helped her collect them. The eyes of her students were fixed on them, their heads stuck together and the noises of giggling and whispering disturbed the silence. Amazing. Just what she needed on her first day. 

“Sorry, fam. Professor Song got distracted by me. Don’t be too hard on her, blame me instead. “ The Doctor said, as she placed the books on the desk. “This is no excuse to be late for my class later, gang.” 

Students of all houses stared at the Doctor like she was an alien and for a moment, that thought distracted her. Something about this woman just seemed off. When a student coughed, she remembered that this wasn’t the place for thoughts like that. Instead, she moved in front of the class, while the Doctor left and smashed the door. Right, didn’t she know how to close a door discreetly? That was something she needed to teach her. Great. The students started to laugh again, but stopped quickly, when they saw the facial expression of their teacher.

She clapped and smiled at her students. 

“Right. Excuse this...entrance.” River sighed. “As you all know by now, I’m Professor River Song, your new teacher for this subject. Since most of the 5th years decided that they wouldn’t join us this, our lovely headmistress decided, that this should be a mixed course.” She explained and just leaned against the desk. The Professor crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked into the crowd. 

“But I’m sure nobody is interested in the Werewolf Code, right?”

All of the students seemed to agree with her and she sighed. 

“Right. You have a very exclusive chance: Ask your questions now and write me an essay about werewolves later. Decide quickly.” 

Not a single student seemed to be opposed to this offer and for a moment it was quiet. Then a blonde girl in the last row raised her hand. 

“Yes, Miss?”

“Tyler. Rose Tyler. I have a question.”

River smiled. Of course, she had a question. What a surprise. But she was calm and just nodded. This was a chance to get to know her students.

“Well, my friend Heather saw you and the Doctor together. You went into a broom closet. Are you dating?” She asked and the other students glared holes in her.

“Asking questions about my love life already, my, my. I won’t confirm or deny it, but I should add that I just arrived here a few days back. Are there any other questions?” 

 

Back when she was a student, she could never quite grasp how this whole teaching thing was working. It always looked rather easy to her. Now it was different. Sure, it was kinda how little Melody had expected it to be, but it was also more difficult. For a minute the students seemed to discuss their next question, but she was fine with it. Her first rule of teaching was definitely to never be that late again. The lesson was almost over anyway- Thanks to the Doctor. 

“Why are you a history teacher?” Clara asked her and seemed to scan her again. Something about this girl was rather strange. It always felt like she knew something that River didn’t know.

“There was this man and he got me hooked on history. Love history because of him, really.”

“What happened to the man? Are you married now?” An asian girl asked with a dreamy expression. She was sitting next to Owen Harper, the boy she had confronted in the morning. River saw him elbowing her, ripping her out of her dreamy state.

“He’s rather busy and really not the type of man that goes around and falls in love with people. Haven’t seen him for ages.” The profesor chuckled and glanced up at the magic clock. 

Just a few minutes left before her next class would come in. Ancient Studies in seventh year - or rather - The one subject that nobody except for four people took. 

Another hand was raised and she pointed at the young man. 

“Yes, Mister…?”

“Sinclair. Ryan Sinclair.” His smile was kind and he seemed rather interested. A trait that she appreciated, not only in her classroom, but in general. “Is it true that you’re a registred   
animagus? If yes, how did you keep the mandrake lead in your mouth for such a long time?”

River stretched and jumped up, her body changing mid-air. Blonde curls changed into creme colored fur, as her paws landed on the desk. Green eyes stared at the students, before she changed back, still sitting on the desk. In her animagus form, she was a rather big cat with long fur that never seemed to be very tame. A good disguise, because of how many cats were brought to school as pets. 

She yawned, as she crossed her legs.   
“Well, Mr. Sinclair.” She said and smiled at him. “With very little talking.”  
~*~

Her second group of students for the day was a bit different. First of all, it consisted of only four students, which did their work rather quick and calmly. Sure, they were seventeen, they didn’t always pay much attention to her, but still. Something about them gave her the peace she wanted to experience on her first day. 

It was lunchtime and while all the students gathered downstairs, she was redecorating her room. There was a lunchbox on the table that a house-elf had brought to her. A kind gesture from a kind creature. It was packed with everything she liked and yet had gone untouched. She was too busy swinging her wand around. The chairs and desks were re-arranged in a way that made the students look at her alone. She moved the books she had collected earlier into a closet, before she finally sat down. Working longer than nessescary on her first day must seem odd to her colleagues, but she really didn’t feel like gathering at the Great Hall right now. But she didn’t exactly care about it.

Of course, she could have talked about the whole situation with her mother, but she was afraid that she was disappointed in her daughter, if she found out about this.

It wasn’t until she heard some noises in the hallway, that she left the classroom. There was some whispering and some laughing, that she couldn’t quite identify, so she made her way outside, a hand gripping tightly onto her wand. 

“And that’s when the Doctor said ‘That’s the reason we don’t actually fight in this class - Words are important.” A mocking voice said and another girl laughed. 

“Oh, it really is funny. I thought it was a DADA class, so shouldn’t there be some duelling and spell-work?” 

“Apparently not.”

Two girls were standing a few steps away from her classroom, their fingers locked and their bodies pressed together in a way that really wasn’t appropriate. As a teacher, she should tell them to do things like that on their vacation, but really. Who was she to judge? How many times was she scolded for getting it on in a broom-closet? With boys and girls? And how often did the headmistress call her parents in?  
-Too often. 

And maybe that’s why she just crossed her arms and watched them with amusement for a moment, before she deicded to step in.

“Really girls, get a room.” She said and chuckled, when she saw the girl’s shocked faces. She remembered them. The blonde one had attended her class this morning and the other girl had been one of the lucky four students in Ancient Studies. Bill Potts and Heather Waters. How adorable. 

They let go of each other, like they were burnt, but Bill reached for her hand again.   
“Are we in trouble for kissing in a hallway? Because, I swear I didn’t know you were here.” She said and Heather sighed.

“Believe me, girls. I’m the last one to punish you for that...Just...Don’t get caught again.” River laughed and just turned around. “The next lesson in this story starts in ten minutes. Make sure you’re gone by then.”

 

So she just went back to lunch.

Who was she to judge?


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've finished outlining this FF today and if you don't understand much...That's exactly what I want. :)  
> Since when does Doctor Who make sense anyway? 
> 
> I'm interested in your guesses so far, though.

Chapter 3: Astronomy

The top of the Astronomy Tower was the highest place in Hogwarts. The tallest tower and the place with the most amazing view. The access was not only restricted to students, outside of lessons but also the most tempting hook-up spot. When she was a student, she’d always sneak up there and bring her dates. Oh, it certainly was a lot of fun. She really had a great history of dates and a greater history of hook-ups. Someday she’d teach the children of all the people she slept back and get a daily reminder that things never worked out for her. Take them and leave them, wasn’t police invented by her, but by many of her hook-ups. By now, everyone must have heard about her past. Everyone judged her and even though she wasn’t weak or cared much about the opinions of others, a part of her just didn’t want the Doctor to think that she was always like this.

Thinking about it, maybe it wasn’t exactly smart to meet up with a colleague up here. Now that it happened, she would just make the most of it. She brought a blanket, a bottle of wine, two glasses and some leftover pastries from the kitchen. The stars seemed so close and she couldn’t help herself but stare. For someone who was so drawn to the sky, it was weird to become a history teacher. Astronomy was the suggestion the school gave her for her great knowledge of far-off places and stars, but there was something that kept her from diving further into it. A weird power that kept her from breaking the wall and figuring it all out. What exactly she was supposed to figure out..? She had no idea.

In general, her life seemed rather blurry lately...Or had it always been that way? Oddly, she didn't seem to remember much about her life. If you had a whiteboard and created a mind-map about her life, just seconds before you erased it. As if it all had been wiped away. River didn’t believe that things could get lost. Especially not memories. In her opinion, they could only be covered. So, why couldn’t she just uncover them? It was as if a thick and heavy cloak laid upon her memories, but she couldn’t grasp it. Couldn’t get a grip. It drove her insane, that there was some detail she was missing, something she didn’t know ab- 

A bang. Something crashed behind her.   
But why should something crash on top of the astronomy tower at midnight? Right. It shouldn’t. When the tip of her wand illuminated the tower, she half expected it to be the Doctor, or some students snogging. But it was neither. Instead, it was an old man, fighting with his telescope. She lowered her wand and just helped him gather the supplies he had dropped. 

“I’m sorry if I scared you. See, I was just locking the telescopes away. Could you help me carry them over to that cupboard?” He asked and looked at her as if nothing happened. As if this whole situation wasn’t somehow weird.

“Sure. I’m..” She started, as she grabbed the telescope and carried it to said place when he disrupted her. 

“River Song. I know. Everyone knows.” He said kindly and closed the cupboards doors, once everything was back at its place. “He’s keeping you waiting, isn’t he? He always makes them wait.” The man shook his head, as RIver furrowed her brows. He?

“Who’s he?”

“The Doctor. Kept me and my granddaughter Donna waiting for ages. A real madman. never early, never late.”

“But the Doctor is a woman?” River said, but the man just shrugged, before he wandered off. 

She stared after him, uncertain whether she should follow and question him. But then again, she had other things to do. He was probably just some senile old man. Hogwarts was known for employing rather weird people, but something about the things he said made her think.  
A madman in a blue box? That sounded so familiar and yet so strange. It gave her a solid headache.

The clock struck twelve and she was alone. The Doctor was nowhere in sight and it started to piss her off. Maybe that man hadn’t been wrong about her. She was not early, she wasn’t even on time. When was a person considered late? After five, after ten or thirty minutes? Was it after an hour or two? Time wasn’t really something she thought about often. It never felt like her time was running away. Still, now it certainly felt like she was wasting her time, waiting.

A trait she hadn’t inherited from her mother and father was patience. At one point, her mother had told her that she spent all night waiting in her garden for someone to take her away from home. She couldn’t remember who. Really, as hard as she tried, she only seemed to face more and more walls. They were everywhere. It felt like she stumbled in a bloody labyrinth, with no way of escaping it.

A noise ripped her out of her thoughts. A loud and familiar noise that seemed to make her whole body itch. All she could think about was the necessity of brakes. A minute later, the Doctor walked around the corner, still in the same outfit she had worn in the morning. A student was walking beside her and hissed when she saw her. It was Clara. A student of her very own house that certainly shouldn’t be out and about at this hour. River raised a brow and Clara looked at her in confusion. “Oh, good evening Professor Song..I'm just going to..leave.” She said and spun around, leaving the Doctor on her own. The blonde watched her leave before she sat down in front of her. River blinked a few times, completely back in her own world. Somehow she just spaced out lately. Especially, as she mumbled “You left the brakes on. Again.”

Words that caused the Doctor to stirr. She almost fell off her chair and needed a few seconds to collect herself, as her grip tightened on the table. There was something in her eyes, almost like hope. It made her heart skip a beat and she didn’t even know why. Earlier, at dinner, she hadn’t even noticed the Doctor. If she was honest, she hadn’t been looking for her. She was too busy talking to her mother.

“Excuse me?” The Doctor said with a voice that matched her look. River, on the other hand, was just growing more and more confused.

“I said that she should be in bed already. I should have taken some house points from her.” Somehow she didn’t feel like she was doing this whole teaching thing right. “But it doesn’t matter. Do you want some wine, sweetie?”

“Uh, can I try first? I don’t always fancy it.” The Doctor shifted in her seat, as River poured herself a glass, took a sip of it and handed it over. It was adorable how quickly her expression changed, as she spat the wine back into the glass. Her old eyes traveled up to River, who looked rather disapproving. Still, a glimmer in her eyes hinted her amusement. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind it. Your face was priceless.” She laughed and just took her glass back. The wine really didn’t taste bad. Normally she would have gotten herself another glass, but she didn’t mind the action coming from the other woman very much. It wasn’t as disgusting as she thought it should be. Did that make sense? Probably not. Her mind was somewhere else, far off. 

But really, where was it?

“So, you say we went to school together.” River started and watched her fidget with some sort of pen. “I can’t really remember much. I know all about history, but it appears that I’m bad at memorizing things.” 

The Doctor tilted her head slightly, scanning her face as if she was looking for something in her face. “Oh, well. I think that’s partly my fault. I wish I could explain it right now, but I’m still figuring things out.”

“But what..What does that mean?” How was she supposed to follow this conversation properly? It didn’t make sense to her. 

“One important question, River... Do you trust me?”

“I...I don’t know you.”

“Yes or no, do you trust me? Simply answer my question.”

For a moment they just stared at each other. River reached out to her, took her hand and swallowed hard before she nodded. 

“Good, because that means that it’s all going to be alright.” The Doctor smiled her biggest smile and intertwined their fingers.

“I’m not sure if I can follow you.”

“Believe me one thing: Nobody can ever follow my thought process. But you trust me and that’s all that matters.” 

It wasn’t the answer she desired, but it pushed her to the point where she just reached out for her glass and took a sip.

“How long will it take until I can follow?”

“Matter of days or weeks. Depends on how well she did her job.”

She?

She wanted to ask, but the Doctor shook her head. 

“No more questions. Drink up, it’s time to get to bed.”


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the "reality" starts to crumble more and more.

Chapter 4: Missing the stars.

“You know, you look pretty tired. Where did you wander off last night?” Amy asked as they made their way to the table. It was early and they didn’t meet many students in the hallway. Somehow this castle felt empty anyway. Was it weird to assume that she only ever saw the same twelve students around? It was probably nothing. It surely was something that she imagined. She was probably focused on those she had met before, right? That made sense. 

“I guess I went to the astronomy tower to see the stars.” River sighed and looked out of the window. There were students talking or performing some magic for each other. The sky was light blue now, the stars faded out a long time ago. She didn’t remember going back to bed and she didn’t remember getting up or leaving the tower. Everything about this seemed...weird. It felt like she was going crazy. Had it really happened, or was she really that insane? 

Her mother took her hand and absently squeezed it for a second.  
“Do you miss them?” She asked and River stopped in her tracks. “Do you miss seeing the stars?”

“The stars will return by night. I can see them whenever I look out of the window. Why would I miss them, if I can see them anytime I please?”

 

“But can you?”

She started following her mother who suddenly grew very silent. Her eyes looked like they were glazed with something she couldn’t place. When she followed her eyes, River noticed a heavy wooden door that she never noticed yet. It had a big sign over it, that somehow made her blood freeze. ‘Library’ was a word that made her heart race and stop at the same time. It sounded rather weird, now that she thought about it, but even though the temptation was strong, she couldn’t reach out to it. Fear made its way into her brain and she had trouble breathing properly. The door seemed to open itself, but when she looked in, she only saw darkness. A part of her wanted to go in and explore so desperately, but the other half of her just turned around and found that the hallway was now empty. Her mother was gone and none of the students seemed to be outside.

Someone stretched a hand out. Well, rather an arm. There was darkness, but there was a hand. It looked like an astronaut tried to lure her into the darkness. Something cold touched her back and it made her shiver. That’s when she looked behind her. A little girl was standing there. She had light hair and something about her comforted her. Her hand pushed her further towards the darkness, but she just kneeled down and hugged her. 

The silhouette of the little girl began to shake as her physical form disappeared in her arms. All that River held was air. Pressure found it’s way into her body, as she tried to think clearly. Think. Think. Think. 

“Who was the little girl? Who was it, River? Remember.” The voice in her head said, but she just shook her head. It wasn’t like she was trying to forget everything, really. She wanted to dig deeper. Wanted to remember it. It just wasn’t possible yet.

 

“Matter of days or weeks.” 

That’s what she told her, right? She just needed to be patient. 

There was only one problem: River Song was never patient. 

 

~*~

“Hallucinating, River?” A voice cut through the air. She was sitting in a rather futuristic office, a mug of steamy coffee in her hands. Captain Jack Harkness was sitting on a desk, looking down at her like she was just a stupid child. Maybe she was exactly that. A stupid child. 

Another man walked past them and hit the back of his head with some sort of file. Jack flinches dramatically and the man gives him a death glare. He’s wearing an expensive suit that makes him look pretty good. Jack must have noticed it, too, because she found him staring at him. 

“What dear Jack is trying to voice is that he worries about your well-being. He’s just too impolite for it.” He said and smiled kindly. “Drink up, Professor.” 

River lifted her mug, brought it to her lips and sipped the coffee. It felt like it was warming her up inside and it was something she needed all day long. She was facing the same problem again. She had troubles remembering things. 

After that girl disappeared, she had turned back to the door to find it locked. Then she must have made her way here. It was pitch black in her mind when she tried to reconstruct her day. The men seemed to watch her closely now as if they had noticed that she was thinking. As if they were expecting an explanation.

“See, I have problems remembering things. I don’t know how to determine what’s real and what’s fake by now.” She admitted and kept on drinking the coffee. 

“Ianto’s coffee is the best in this galaxy, believe me. I can judge.” He hummed and watched her closely. “And I can tell you that’s the real thing.” Jack’s voice grew quieter with every word. 

“It’s good, but how does that help me?” River furrowed her brows in confusion. 

“It doesn’t. He doesn’t have the faintest idea what’s going on with this place and that’s what scares you, right? You expected him to know. Expected that at least someone has an answer for you.”

“Does someone?” 

The men looked at each other, then back at her. Suddenly she felt very sick. The room was spinning and the chair was suddenly too hard and too cold for her to comfortably sit. And again, the room faded.

Faded into the black.

Faded out.

~*~  
~*~  
~*~  
~*~  
~*~

The Library was bright, completely restored after it’s tragic past. It was time for the old software to be wiped. It was time for an update and there were five people standing in the middle of them and nothing could stop them from resurrecting the dead. Or well, the saved. 

“What do you think, how long will your precious wife need to get a grip on reality?”

One of them was connected to a computer via some cables and she just waved her hand in the direction of the other woman. 

“Shut up, I’m trying to focus on something similar to reality.”

 

The other people groaned as they walked around the corners they had passed several times. Their bickering was driving them insane and even though they supported the cause, they weren’t the biggest fan of the methods. 

“I’m still thinking that you should let me try.” She said and moved up to her, until she stood behind her, her long black fingernails running over her shoulders. 

“Right, we already have one psychopath in here. Don’t need another.”

The woman shook her head. “Oh Doctor, with you it’s already two.”


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Nothing matters...Does it?

 

The Doctor closed her eyes for a second before she continued to type the numbers in. Nails that scratched over her neck distracted her and she groaned loudly. Getting her into this plan was a mistake, but she needed not one, but two timelords. Since her options were limited, she had no other choice than getting Missy on the TARDIS, saving her life from herself. After everything that happened to Bill, the Doctor wasn’t sure what her opinion on the Mistress was. There was only a single thing that she could do now and that was giving River hints. They were a few weeks in and not only her companions, but also Missy was getting impatient. River seemed to hold onto something in the database. Something that the Doctor didn’t know about.

“Come along, Pond.” The Doctor murmured and one of the light-bulbs on the machine lit up. Just for a second. But there it was, lighting a spark inside the Doctors hearts. Sparks became fire and her determination took over.

“I cannot believe she’s married,” Ryan whispered and shook his head in disbelief. He was sitting on top of some wooden stairs, Yas head was resting against his shoulder. Graham was trying to find the kitchen, that hid from them again, while they watched the Doctor and the Mistress perform their little show. “I mean, sure, she’s pretty amazing...but she doesn’t seem like the settling type!” The smaller girl shrugged lightly and looked up at him. “I believe that everyone as at least one perfect match, you know?” Yas sighed. “She deserves to be happy. I’m just glad that those two aren’t married. /She/’s scaring me and nothing scares me!” 

Missy smiled as she heard them talk. It was nice to hear that sweet words complimenting her. “Why thank you, darling. It’s the effect I have on boring little humans.” 

They both looked at each other before Missy laughed. Their stuttering was really amusing! Maybe she understood why the Doctor kept some of them. Why he was so attached to his little pets was something that she didn’t get. They were like pet mice...or lab rats.

At least the Doctor had found himself something closer to their race with that River Song. Human plus Timelord. That was a combination she could tolerate. It was a close call, but the best she could get for her frenemy. This was the ultimate proof that she had changed. Sure, she might need some supervision, but she wanted to show him just how good she could be.

“Missy, stop it. You’re not here to scare the gang, you’re here to help me.” She sighed and Missy let her fingers wander, running up and down her arms, from her shoulders to her wrist and back. “But why, Doctor, won’t you let me do it. I’ll get her into that stupid library room. I’ll get her to check out…” Her voice was surprisingly childlike, almost like she was pouting. 

“As much as I hate to admit it, Doctor. I think she might have a point. You’ve made a minor success, but it took you weeks. We can’t sit here forever.” Yas said carefully and Missy clapped excitedly. 

“Look, a smart woman. Give me a chance. Just a few days in my thoughts and we’re far away from that fanfiction attempt you’re starting in your head, eh?”

The Doctor looked from Yas to Ryan and back to Missy before she nodded. It seemed to surprise everyone, even the Doctor herself, but she emptied her seat. Once Missy was seated, she only pressed some buttons and got her hooked to the machine. 

“Missy?” 

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Don’t fuck it up. Please.”

Missy frowned, as the Doctor walked up to her friends and took their hands. 

 

~*~  
~*~  
~*~  
~*~  
~*~

 

A heavy knock tore River out of her thoughts. She was working on some sort of drawing in her blue book. A book she found a few days ago on her doorstep. The pages looked old and faded out like it was well-used but its pages were empty. When she looked up, she automatically closed the book and forced a smile on her lips. 

“Come in.” 

She was expecting some sort of student wanting to talk to her. What she didn’t expect was this woman. River had seen her around Hogwarts for a few days now. They hadn’t approached each other yet. Everyone else had disappeared, even that boy Mickey who made out with that Doctor, Miss Jones. Weird. She could barely remember their names. The Doctor was gone and the blue book appeared.

“He mentioned that you have space hair, but my. It’s bigger than I expected.” Missy murmured and popped into the chair in front of her desk, resting her feet rest on the armrests. “How long are we going to play this game, Professor Doctor Song?”   
Her voice reminded River somehow of a cat. It was almost a purr and those eyes staring at her...It certainly caught her interest. 

“What game are you talking about? I’m just correcting tests regarding the Patronus charm. My friend has disappeared, so I’m doing her work.” River asked and arched a brow. “And who are you?”

 

“I’m the Mistress. But you can call me Missy.” There it was again. That purring tone. “See, my friend, the Doctor, sent me. He’s head over heels for you...Well, she is. They told me you have that little blue diary and that it’s an interesting read. May I?” 

Without waiting for her reply, she took the book and opened it up. The pages were blank, except for titles and some pictures she must have painted. River stood up in a rush and tried to reach out for her diary. “Give it back. You’re making me angry and I was once told I’m rather dangerous when I’m not getting what I want.” She hissed and watched the woman turn into a raven before she flew off...With her diary.

For a moment, River froze. Was she singing a song out there? A song that she heard before. Where did she hear it? Where? Where? W h e r e?

When her shock passed, she ran outside, finding page after page ripped out and left on the corridor, With each one she picked up, her anger increased.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is "slightly" longer than the other ones.   
> Tell me, what are your thoughts on the special we got on New Years Day? I'm very torn, to be honest. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all had a great start into 2019! Week one of fifty-two... DONE!
> 
> Since I've got a headache from writing this chapter, this is my treat for you. I really hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 6: Ressurection

The corridor was slim and dark. Certainly not how she imagined it and she walked slowly. The pages of the diary were a limited amount of clues to be left. What scared her more than the destruction of her precious diary was the anger that she felt, as she walked on and on. 

Noises bounced from the walls and seemed to corner her in, as the woman let out a rather creepy giggle. 

“My, my. Professor Song.” Did she squeak in...excitement? “What a nice poem. Who would have thought that you were poetic like that, hmm?”

River furrowed her brows, as her steps fastened. The trail of the pages had stopped and she could have sworn that this was a corridor she didn’t recognize. Nothing ever went that linear for her. Everything that surrounded her was darkness and the cold walls made of stone. She was trapped in something horrible. 

Her own mind? What if Jack hadn’t been so wrong? What if this was indeed a hallucination? Nothing was real, was it? 

Was she real? What if she wasn’t real?

“Demons run when a good man goes to war.” The Misstress started and her giggling took over. “Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war.” 

Her head hurt from hearing those words and she stopped in her tracks. The voice seemed to be everywhere, almost as if it was pointless to run. If this wasn’t real, she wouldn’t ever stop running and maybe that was exactly what the woman wanted. 

“Friendship dies and true love lie, night will fall and dark will rise, when a good man goes to war.” 

Something about this poem hurt her, ripped open a part of the cloak. Not enough. Not enough. It hurt so much, almost like someone took a knife and cut open her skin. She held her head and swayed a bit, her eyes shut, as she tried to get those words out of her head. 

“Demons run, but count the cost. The battle’s won…”

Tears formed in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks, as her grip on her head tightened. Oh, it hurt. It stung and burned in all the places where she hadn’t felt a single thing in ages. Her tears left a burning trail on her skin as if it might tear her skin apart. 

“...But the child is lost.” River completed. It was merely a whisper, but Missy laughed. 

“Finally, she’s making progress.” Missy cheered. “See - I’m not torturing her. She’s remembering. Finally, the little mutation is remembering. I won’t apologize because it’s true...Now let me do my work.” A noise. Did she really clear her throat?

“What do you want from me?” River shouted when it was finally quiet for a moment. For once she only earned silence. It was so quiet here like she could finally rest. But there were pictures popping up in her head. Pictures of the orphanage, pictures of the spacesuit. Clicking noises that the Silence made, creeping up from the depths of her nightmares.

“I want you to remember, River Song.” She said and sighed as if she had explained it to her many times. “But you’re slowly earning my anger. We’ve been working on this for months, you know?” 

No, she didn’t know. Months? It felt like days to her...maybe weeks. But wasn’t that what that woman, the Doctor, had told her. She took a deep breath. 

“What if I don’t want to remember?”

Missy laughed. “I don’t care about you, but you happen to be someone my friend cares about.” She sounded like she was making fun of her. “And that’s why you have to remember. Keep on walking, River. Keep on walking” 

“Why are you such a bitch?” She asked, as she mentally prepared herself to keep on walking. “Believe me, I’d love to shoot you.”

“But I just regenerated into such a beautiful Timelady.” Another purr. “Do you remember what it feels like, River? Regeneration?”

The walls made of stone turned to a cloud of golden dust. Her heart beat so much faster as her skin welcomed the glitter. Regeneration was the process of the cells reformating, rearranging and coming into a new shape and form. She experienced it twice. In New York, when the street was wet and cold from the rainy night when she was all alone and in Berlin when nobody knew who she was. Compared to that feeling, the suddenly oh so warm hallways. She couldn’t regenerate, she gave that privilege away to save someone she loved. Someone she had killed. He was worth it, he was worth surviving. She was his bespoke psychopath, so how could she forget about him?

The man she murdered and the man she married, the one she met in opposite directions. The one her whole life was centered around. 

She’d seen all of his variations and she had adored every single one of them, despite their lack of knowledge about her. It really was a close call between living and dying. 

Of course, she knew that she wasn’t going to regenerate, but feeling that energy on her skin awoke more memories. 

And suddenly there were doors, opening themselves for her. River walked up to them rather careful, saw herself standing there with him. He pointed at her and she just smiled. “Yes.” They had kissed many times and she had enjoyed every single time. 

~*~

“But you and I...we...we..we..:” He made some kissy noises, which made her smile. Her parents were standing in the back, so clueless and afraid, while they enjoyed their moment. A smile crept up on her lips, when she learned a little closer, watching him fidgeting with his arms and hands. “Yes.” There was a lot of kissing involved, leading up to this moment. He turned around and glanced at her parents. They were so young and so clueless. Her smile widened, as he straightened his bowtie. Even though he was young and didn’t know much about her yet, he still tried to look good for her. Her heart skipped a beat.

“How do I look?” He asked rather nervous, his hands fidgeting with his clothes. Oh, how hard he tried to hide it. It was just adorable.

“Amazing.”

 

River turned around and the door closed itself. Slowly she saw all those moments, not in her order, not in his. Mixed and in very short clips, almost like they were extracted from someone else's memories. 

Until she stood at the end of the hallway, only three doors left. She reached out for the door on the right and found herself seeing a too familiar scenery.

 

The top of a pyramid, hands intertwined with his beautiful blue bowtie.

“Captain Williams. Say I consent and gladly give.”

“To what?”

“Just say it.”

Her eyes shifted from their hands to their parents, to him and back to their hands. 

“I...consent and gladly give.” Rory didn’t seem very sure about what he was doing, but it didn’t matter. Her own mind was racing and she opened and closed her mouth like a fish before she tried to focus. Tears were still burning in her eyes  
“You need to say it, too,” Her mother seemed just as confused as her father. “Mother of the bride.” 

She looked at her daughter before she continued to speak. 

“I consent and gladly give.” 

“Now, River.” He spun around and looked at her. “I’m about to whisper something in your ear and you have to remember it very, very carefully...And tell no one what I said.”

She remembered it like it was yesterday. Their hearts beating equally fast, their eyes set on one another and even though the tears in her eyes burned, she nodded, incapable of thinking or speaking properly. Was this really happening? He leaned closer, his lips almost touching her ear. Just feeling his breath against her skin made her shiver v. 

“Look into my eyes.” He said and she did. 

“I just told you my name.”

River gasped. She saw him standing there, in his eye. Of course, she thought. Of course, this was going to happen. It was perfect, just perfect and she loved him so much for it. He managed to do it. River Song, Melody Pond, was speechless.

“Now, there you go, River Song, Melody Pond. You’re the woman who married me.” He looked into her eyes, well, the Teselecta did. “And wife, I have a request This world is dying and it’s my fault, and I can’t bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn’t another way.”

She took a step closer, leaning in.

“Then you may kiss the bride.”

“I’ll make it a good one.”

River smiled as their lips came in crashing.

“You’d better.”’

And it was a pretty good memory. The Doctor had been saved and she had become his wife.  
Opening the next door, on the other hand, brought back some rather painful memories. 

They were sitting on the stairs in the house of Mr. Grayle and his angel babies. Getting her wrist out of the angel’s grip had been tough, just like breaking her own wrist without screaming or crying. She did everything she could when she was hiding the damage.

“Why did you lie to me? “

Her face was sober, as she avoided his gaze, fixating her eyes on her wrist. He wasn’t meant to find out about this injury. Damn. There was nothing she could have done to get her hand out of it, especially because Amy read it in a book. Still, she would be honest about it..  
“When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve-year-old, one does one's best to hide the damage.“

 

“It must hurt. Come here.” He said and reached for her wrist. He was very soft when he took it and even though he tried his best, it still hurt.   
“Yes.” She nodded. “The wrist is pretty bad too.”

The Doctor watched her, as his hands started to glow, the regeneration energy taking over and slowly healing her hand. She was furious, but she couldn’t pull it away. It hurt too much.  
“No. No. No, stop that. Stop that. Stop it!”   
She complained as he lowered his face to her hand.  
“There you go. How's that?” He asked and kissed her hand, just before she pulled it away. 

“Well, let's see, shall we?” River raised her arm and straight up slapped him. He really deserved it. It was his energy and she didn’t need payback for Berlin. “That was a stupid waste of regeneration energy. Nothing is gained by you being a sentimental idiot.” She shouted and watched him struggle.   
She had slapped him hard and he had no idea what to do, as she stood up.

“River.” He started, before she turned away from him, blush creeping on her face. 

“No, you embarrass me.”

He called her name out, but she just left him sitting there.

 

~*~

There was only a single door left. Bigger and darker than all the past doors, which she opened. When River Song reached out and opened the door, the woman from earlier sat there, on an armchair. There was a file in her hand and without a word, she held it out to her. It was dark and the only source of light was above Missy. 

Without a word, River grabbed the file. Her reaction was just a gasp.

“You’re a Data-Ghost. You’re dead. You’ve been dead for so long that you forgot who you were.” She stated and laughed. The file was pretty thick and old. 

“What do you mean they wanna shut the library down? What about me and CAL and the others?” River asked and dropped the file. 

“You need to sit down and put your hands in your lap.” She said and emptied her seat for her. 

“What do you mean? What does this mean?” Her hands gestured to the file, but Missy just pushed her into the chair. 

“Stop being a bitch,” Missy said and grabbed some wires, which she connected to her temples. “Because I am trying not to kill you and if you keep on talking I guarantee you nothing.”

So River shut up and just allowed her to continue. 

 

“Good girl. Now, what’s your opinion on transfer from, say...this hard drive on a cloned body?” Missy purred and River closed her eyes.

 

~*~

The Doctor had left for a few hours, taken the gang for some breakfast and a change of scenery. Missy was dancing through the library, clothes in her hands. She looked at the woman who was connected to the machine now. River Song was prettier than the Doctor gave her credit for. Now she just needed a matching dress. 

Sure, she was unconscious, but she was also looking incredibly stupid with those cuts and burns and blood all over her body. Missy had taken the TARDIS for a spin and rescued the body from the library. She was in her spacesuit, not a very charming match. Missy had brushed her curls out and taken the suit off. She was generous here and nobody witnessed it. Was that what being good was like? Being boring? 

The woman was still uploading from the library file when Missy looked around and started to dress her up again. Luckily she was far more experienced with the topic of women’s clothing. 

 

When she was all dressed and clean, she just placed her hands on her chest, golden energy coming out of her hands. This situation had taught her something.

If she wanted to be a good friend, she needed to be selfless. She just hoped that she was worth it. 

“All right, you’re almost fine.” Missy sighed, as the energy disappeared inside the woman's body. 

Her heart was beating, though it was rather weak. She rolled her eyes and slapped her face. 

“Stupid human, she needs you. If you die on me, it’s my fault. She will blame me.”

The sound of the materializing TARDIS made her groan.

“Perfect, just perfect. Now I’ve got to explain myself.” Missy looked down at River and shook her head. “I swear, you’re good to go. You just need to wake up.”


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goooood evening!  
> How are y'all doing? It's my last week before I'm back to college and receiving a ton of grades. I'm pretty torn about ending this story. We are coming closer to the ending, but since this is a series...How do you feel about a sequel?

Chapter 7: Reality?

She stepped back from her limb body and made her way to a different corner, where she proceeded to look at her nails like she was bored by the situation. Of course, she wouldn’t actually show her that she cared. The Doctor wouldn’t believe her anyway. She’d claim she only did it because of ulterior motives. Stupid woman. Sometimes even the Mistress gave her best to make her only friend happy. 

She watched the screen that displayed River’s heartbeat. One heart but able to regenerate. Interesting. River only moved her fingers a bit, but she was still out of it. Maybe the noises of the TARDIS had started some kind of process in her brain. Oh, she was sure it was an interesting brain. Human-plus. Very unique. 

The Doctor’s things ran out of the TARDIS and claimed their usual seats on the stairs, a book in their hands when their eyes landed on the woman in the chair.

“Doctor? Doctor!” She called and Missy rolled her eyes. What was she again? A policewoman on Earth? How boring. But fitting, she really was a snitch. The elder man walked over to River, but the DOctor was quicker. She stormed outside of the TARDIS and grabbed his arm. 

“Don’t touch her. That golden glow can kill you. She’s murderous as that.” She said and pushed him away. Her eyes were fixated on her wife and even though Missy couldn’t quite identify the feelings in her eyes, she knew about the feeling the Doctor showed when she looked at her. 

“What have you done, Missy?” She spat. “I told you, she isn’t ready. What if this kills her?”

 

“Darling, she’s very dead already.” Missy deadpanned and looked down on her nails again. Oh well, she could really need some nail-polish. Maybe the policewoman had some...Though, Missy doubted she had a good taste in anything. Her clothes really looked ridiculously boring. 

“But what if we can’t save her?” The Doctor asked with pleading puppy eyes. 

“Doctor, I hate to agree with her, but wouldn’t she have been wiped in a few days anyway? It either worked or it didn’t work. You did everything.” The old man said as he freed himself from her grip.

1:0 for the old human. 

“See, the old man is agreeing with me, he’s my favorite.”

“It’s Graham.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “Gender is such an unnecessary concept.”  
The Doctor kneeled down in front of River and just grabbed her cold hand. Sure, her heart was beating, but that didn’t mean much. She intertwined their fingers, her thumb drawing circles over the back of her hand. As strange as it was, she didn’t think they could succeed. It was weird, though. Feeling her hand again, after their story was completed and everything was lost. She had collected her sonic screwdriver and her diary and left them in their old TARDIS bedroom, one she hadn’t used in forever. Not since River was gone. Coming back to the library was a weird feeling, consuming her wholly. Dark and cold, that’s how the Doctor had felt. Letting River Song into her mind had been a nice vacation. Her time as a data-ghost had changed her a lot. She looked younger as if she came back from a long vacation at a nice city beach. Maybe that’s what the Doctor tried to tell herself to deal with all of it. The pain and the loss. 

“Your mother would kill me.” The Doctor said as she laid an arm on her wife’s lap, resting her chin upon it. She was so tired, but looking up at her was just enough for the moment. It was almost like she was sleeping, which, she guessed she technically was. It was like she was in a coma, but all those maths she had done, never revealed, how long this would take. Uploading memories of a woman like River surely would take longer than the process of updating a picture online. She wished that it’d be this easy. 

“Oh yes, she would.” Her hoarse voice murmured and the Doctor looked up. River had a hard time keeping her eyes open. Her skin was very shiny, an effect of regeneration energy. “And Daddy, dearest, too.” The room went silent and Missy just grinned. She knew that she won this secret dispute between her and the Doctor when she saw her facial expression. 

Yaz looked rather uncomfortable, interrupting the moment between the Doctor and his wife, so she grabbed Ryan and Graham and dragged them back into the TARDIS. Sure, they all wanted to know everything about the woman who was insane enough to be the Doctor’s wife, but right now they just had no right.

Missy watched them leave and just jumped up with a sigh. This would be interesting to watch, but when the Doctor’s busy, she could just as well take the TARDIS and buy nail-polish. In New New York, 56002. That’d keep the little human’s minds busy for a while. 

 

~*~

 

River’s eyes were heavy as if she woke up from an eternal sleep. She felt every piece of her body. Every muscle, every limb. It was a nice feeling after you haven’t had a body in, what? Four hundred years? Probably longer. She lost count. 

“River.” The Doctor said and reached out to her, hugging her tightly. It was more than comforting that after all those years, the Doctor still pronounced her name as “Rivah”. A tiny detail she noticed and appreciated. She returned the hug lightly, her arms barely wrapped around her tiny body. The Doctor was smaller now. Adorable.   
“New body, hm? Well, you’re not the only one.” She hummed and closed her eyes. “Though, is it a new body when it’s your own? I’m a bit confused, but that’s partly your fault.” Keeping her eyes open was quite a challenge. 

The Doctor’s wife smiled lightly when she felt a thumb caressing her cheek. “It was bound to happen, huh?” She said cheerily when she didn’t just touch the air. “Me, being a woman...See, I’m all new and so are you. I just hope that you like the new me,”   
She pried her eyes open, just a bit to look her up and down before she nodded.   
“Would love to see more than your face, but I’m afraid I need some food and drinks and sleep, you know? I was dead.” Now she was just weak. Weak and exhausted and everything hurt. A few seconds ago she had welcomed her pain, but now it was just annoying. 

“Of course, of course!” She squeaked and jumped up, removing the cables from her body. She was fine. River bloody Song died a few hundred years ago and she was now back to life. 

“You’re brilliant, you know? Brilliant.” The Doctor leaned in, kissed the corner of her mouth before she ran to their private little snack-stack. They had purchased everything. From soda to tea and from Fishfingers to biscuits. Not the best meals, but when River felt the bottle on her lips and the cold soda in her mouth, she was more than grateful. They had been married for so long and yet, she never was the biggest fan of being fed. Funnily enough, now it was needed and appreciated. Eating the biscuit was a little bit harder, but she was able to do it. 

“Here we are, the Doctor feeding me like he should have done it when I was a baby.” River said weakly, as she tilted her head a little bit. “Stop it, River! That’s weird! I can’t look at you like this considering we...uh, you know.” If her body wasn’t failing her enough already, she would have sworn that the Doctor was blushing. 

“Oh, I certainly know.” She purred. 

“God, if you can flirt again, you’re better than I thought.” A voice said. Missy was standing behind them, leaning against the TARDIS.

“Missy? Where are you coming from? I didn’t hear the TARDIS?” The Doctor almost jumped away from her wife in embarrassment. 

“She didn’t leave the brakes on, sweetie.” River coughed and Missy shrugged. 

“At least your wife knows how to fly properly. I give you five minutes before we leave this depressing place, we’ve all been here for too long.” She said, turned around and left. 

“I have one question, sweetie,” She said and reached out for her hand. After all this time they still perfectly fit. “Why was I in a Harry Potter simulation?”

The Doctor blushed again and scratched the back of her head with her free hand.   
“Well, it’s the one book I knew you read and liked. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t love Harry Potter?”

She rolled her eyes and pushed a curl out of her face. 

“Take me to bed, sweetie.” River said as she attempted to get up. The Doctor reached out to her, caught her and helped her to stand straight.

 

And for once, River didn’t try to hide the damage.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some fluff for you late at night.  
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> So, I was thinking that I might start taking prompts for one-shots and write a collection of them. What do you think?

Chapter 8: Regeneration Energy 

 

“So, why did you do it?” River asked once she rolled to her side. In the past fourteen hours, she'd slept as much as possible, even though it was rather hard because her wife was sitting across the room and just stared at her. Now, River was facing her. It was an odd feeling, being back in your own warm bed, the one you shared with your husband for so many years. The one that you'd hopefully share with your wife for many more years. 

“Do what? Save you?” She asked, as she stood up and made her way to their bed. The Doctor dropped herself next to her, giving her some distance. “Let you die?”

“Why did you waste your regeneration energy on me? You know exactly why don't want you to do that.”

“I wasn't there when you were resurrected. I've tried to lure you for weeks when Missy decided to take over. I didn't give you my energy and she certainly didn't do it. Let's call it a miracle, Riv’.”

Never in her life had she called her Riv and never had she looked so sincere. She didn't know what she was thinking about it, but she knew that this wasn't a moment to fight. They were too old and too tired. 

“Well, okay then. We'll talk about this another time.” River said and stretched lightly. Her whole body was aching, but it was getting better. This was… New. She honestly knew that she was still in shock. It was exhausting and she needed a lot more rest before she was ready to run again.   
“Tell me about this regeneration.” She looked up at her, reached out for her hand and smiled, once they touched. Holding hands was pretty much all they did right now and she just hoped that this wasn't the way it'd be forever. The version she married was more of a child, but still a great kisser. The version that spent that night on Darilium with her wasn't very fond of touching in public and this one? Well, this one… She hadn't judged her yet. 

“Uh… I’m a woman now!” The blonde said and looked around the room. “Did you know that women's clothes have no real pockets, River? How did you survive that? Pockets are so important!” Her complaints made her smile. 

“Anything else that I need to know?” She asked. 

“I...well, I really love hugs.” The Doctor smiled widely. “Can I hug you, River?”

River rolled her eyes. Did she really just ask that? They were married after all! Though, she really appreciated her concern and her wish to check in. 

“Sweetie, I'd be insulted if you didn't. There's another question I want to ask you.” She stretched and sat up in bed, their fingers intertwined. “Is this real?” 

The Doctor opened her arms and wrapped them around her. Her hug was firm, like the ones she knew from her former regenerations. She felt safe and… real. Maybe her brain was still playing with her, but she actually felt something other than confusion. Sure, when she thought back at that...alternative reality… she missed those happy memories with her parents, memories of her first school day and her graduation… until she remembered, that she had them. They were real. Just not in the parents and daughter relationship she wanted. Back then she was Mels. Her parents best friend. They had spent every holiday together, the rode the bus to school and her mother bailed her out of jail so many times. She remembered the distaste of her grandparents, whenever little Mels walked into the kitchen to ask for a bit of water past their bedtime. She was a troublemaker and unlike Rory, never a wanted family member, but everything was better than the orphanage. Memories that made her shudder. All those stories about this beautiful man, in which they claimed he was a monster that caused her parents giving her away. Her only treasure? A picture of her and her mother, when she was just a baby on Demons Run. Now, River knew that this wasn’t the case. Ever since she first kissed him, she was addicted. The little poisonous peck on the lips was very nice, but the real kiss, sharing all that energy was breathtaking. Well, it really was. River remembered fainting and waking up far away from Berlin, with an empty diary and a heart beating so much faster.

“Of course it’s real, I mean look at me! I am the Doctor and you’re the amazing Melody Pond, back from the dead and in my TARDIS.” She smiled, as River rested her chin on her shoulder. Her real name was one they rarely used, one she really enjoyed hearing when she said it. Her new voice was very soft and comforting, surely a voice that could sing or talk her to sleep. 

 

“What does the new face think of me, Doctor? How do you feel about me?”

“You are and you will always be my wife.” She ran her fingers repeatedly over her back.

Their bedroom was still the same. It was big with light blue walls. There was a bed in the middle of the room facing an enormous wardrobe that led to the dressing room. (The Doctor had just seen this Narnia movie when they put the room together.) There were pictures and paintings on the wall, memories of their travelings and their dates. It smelled different, even though their sheets still smelled like them. Maybe this version of the Doctor had decided to wear a flowery scent. Maybe that’d explain it. It would certainly suit her. The one thing that comforted her, was that the Doctor took her to their shared bedroom and that he still used it.

For a moment, she just closed her eyes and breathed in her scent. Yes, slightly flowery. She liked it. Then she opened her eyes and freed herself from her hug. River raised a hand and moved it up to caress her face. Oddly, the Doctor leaned in, her hands still crossed behind her wife’s back. All of her features seemed to relax. Usually, she was so tense and always thinking, but right now her face was just full of love. 

 

“So, how many have been there? How many lovers? I won’t judge, I promise.”

“Companion-wise? Before I met the gang? Clara and Bill. Oh. Nardole, too. Lovers? Non.” She shook her head lightly. “Missy kissed me a few times, but never really serious, promise. She’s as old as I am and yet, she’s not remotely close to a good kisser.” 

Nobody could top her wife. Nope. River was just perfect, in her opinion. Perfect in every way. Perfect, because she was all fine and breathing. Perfect, because she was back in their bed in her TARDIS. Even the TARDIS seemed more than happy. It was humming peacefully, treating the companions nicely, without teasing them. They were parked in Sheffield, just around her gang’s corner. Missy was doing something in her own room.

“Oh Nardole. He did a great job hunting you down, then.” River frowned. That probably meant that he had died. It was a shame. Though, she’d never admitted it she really liked him. He was funny and a great companion. She’d investigate that further, later. After Missy had saved her life, would it be ungrateful to be pissed about a few kisses? Especially considering she kissed many people...And she had been dead anyway.

Once she slid her hand underneath her chin, she ran her thumb over her bottom lip and the Doctor sighed. 

“I missed you, you know?” 

“Missed you, too, Sweetie.” She closed her eyes before she leaned in and pressed her lips on the Doctor’s. 

Some things never really changed. God, even when she felt horrible like that when she was doubting that what she felt was real, there was the Doctor to keep her safe and sound. That’s why she loved her. Because they were good together. 

But how long could the Doctor really sit still?


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Snake

 

The TARDIS was in a pretty good mood. It was humming and trying to communicate with River all morning. She had just woken up again. She had slept for another few hours after the Doctor had left. 

 

_ Come on, darling. Tell your mother how you’re feeling? _

 

“Honestly, I don’t know. It’s weird. Tell me, am I still dead?”

 

_ Don’t be ridiculous, you’re awake and alive.  _ _   
_ __   
“What have I missed while I was out..”

 

_ Not much. The Doctor took Missy back to her cell and took her assistants for breakfast in Belgium. I wonder when he’s going to realize that he’s in Venice. _

 

River chuckled. That was something she had missed during her time in the library. The feeling that at least one of her mothers was within reach. The TARDIS loved her so much, maybe more than she loved the Doctor. She was loyal and intelligent...And just really funny. She never took him where he wanted to be, but she always took him where he needed to be. The TARDIS would never end up at a wrong location when it was time to catch River who jumped off another tall building. 

 

“Oh, dear. You really love teasing her, hm? What do you think about this regeneration?”

 

_ Girls run the universe, darling. It was bound to happen.  _

 

“And yet, she’s still white.” 

 

The TARDIS just hummed and River made her way out of the bed. Well, it was time to see if her clothes have remained where they were supposed to be. Well, surprise, surprise! They were still hanging in her closet, but they were rearranged. Rearranged and ruffled. She grabbed a slightly oversized sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. It really wasn’t her clothing style, but she liked it. It was bright yellow with a badger on it. Of course, she had a Harry Potter phase lately, River noticed. So she put it on. It was a little big, even for her, so she just imagined the Doctor, hopelessly lost in this shirt. It smelled like her, so she was sure she actually wore it. Probably to bed.    
  
It was a sweet thing to remember, River thought, as she checked herself in the mirror. She looked horrible. Deep shadows were underneath her  rather red eyes and she realized that she looked a little different than before. She sighed and shook her head, before she applied a bit of makeup, just to feel a bit better. Luckily, the now female Doctor had not only kept her collection, but also added to it. 

 

After she felt like she was looking alright and after she had some breakfast, she decided to grab a book from the Doctor’s personal stack before she sat down in the console room. She really wasn’t the biggest fan of libraries at the moment, but who could possibly blame her for that? She’d been trapped in the biggest library ever and so much of the knowledge had been passed over to her. Her head was still aching but honestly, she could only be very grateful.

 

Then there were noises, the door was opened and the Doctor walked in, her companions in tow.  River never took her eyes off the book. They were laughing and she enjoyed the noise. In the library, it was always very quiet.   
“Doctor, can you take me and Ryan home, later?” The old man asked and her wife hummed. They were upstairs around the console and she was downstairs, all quiet. She was dancing around the console, in really high spirits. Maybe she was a very cheerful person, maybe she was happy to have her back. “I will, I promise. But before we do that...Where do you want to go?” 

 

“Don’t you want to look after your wife first? After all...She was dead yesterday. Have you seen her since you got her to bed?” The woman, Yas, said. “Are you sure she’s alright?” 

 

“Oh Yas, lovely Yas.” The Doctor spun once more. River could hear her steps.”She’s down there, eavesdropping. Didn’t you notice her?”

 

That was her cue to close the book and stand up. The console room went silent and the only thing the gang heard was her steps when she walked upstairs. 

“Hello, Sweetie.” She leaned against the railings and she smiled at her wife. She felt the curious looks on the back of her neck. 

 

“Hi, honey. I’m home.” Her wife just took a step forward and pressed a short kiss on the corner of her mouth, before she hurried back to the console. “So, River. Are you ready for the questionnaire of the fam? They’re very curious. Love it.”

 

River shrugged and looked at them. They were very adorable and to her surprise, it wasn’t just a young girl, but two men as well. She really enjoyed the view there, but the oldest man seemed the most interested in her. Who wouldn’t be intrigued by her?    
He looked at her in awe. “Where did you get married?” He asked and she just laughed.    
  
“Let’s just say...It ’s complicated. On top of a pyramid in a reality that never existed. She didn't even propose. I have pictures of her old faces, anyone interested in my husbands?” The Doctor gasped. “You still have those? River, no. It’s unfair.” She whined. Yes, she certainly didn’t have pictures of Melody and Mels...Except for one with the Ponds.    
“We only had my parents as guests, got married traditionally.”  River hummed. 

  
“Why aren’t you wearing a ring?” Yas asked and reached for her hand. Right. No ring.    
  
“Because it’s impractical when she’s fooling around with other versions.”

 

“What the Doctor means is that she never got me one.” River said and shrugged once more. Younger River never wanted one, but older River got her Doctor one. One she obviously lost after regenerating. Such a shame. It was a nice ring. 

  
“Wait, what?” Ryan asked and shook his head. “Did I just understand this right?”

 

“We were traveling in opposite reactions. The Doctor first met me, when I was dying and I first met him as a baby and then again, when I became River Song. One of us always knew more about the other, I’m afraid.” 

 

“That’s insane, how did you make this thing work?”   
  
“Oh, while she was in prison I broke her out every night. She loved our dates, hm? Never had our honeymoon, because she went to prison on our damn wedding night.” She sighed in deep regret and stretched before she made her way deeper into the TARDIS. “Come on Ryan, Graham. I need some tall people to help me with the pool. I’m afraid I pulled the wrong lever again.” The men groaned and left Yas alone with River. She didn’t look very happy about that but still followed her.    
  
She should have warned her, but she wasn’t in the mood to find out how bad this Doctor was at flying, so she just moved her way to the console once the coast was clear. 

 

“Excuse me, but why were you in prison?” Yas asked, watching her carefully. Of course, since she was a policewoman, she’d ask about that. Still, River just proceeded to work on the console, occasionally stroking over it. The TARDIS just made some noises. 

 

“I’m the woman who killed the Doctor. Got me a few thousand life sentences. After about thirty years they realized that I didn’t do it.” River smiled, thinking about it. Stormcage never received a prisoner who did their nails during the trial...Or broke out every night...Or kissed so many guards. Bless the hallucinogenic lipstick.

 

“Sounds like you’ve had quite the life.” Yas brought her hand up to her forehead and shook her head. How could two individuals be so impossible and yet such a good match? It really was unique. Her statement made River laugh. “Believe me, it’s so much madder than that...But for now, where are you from? Can you tell me the date you left?” 

 

Yas furrowed her brows, as she tried to remember it, but when she couldn’t seem to figure it out, the TARDIS just made some noises and River started to laugh again.    
  
“Forget the question, the TARDIS remembered. The old girl really is the best.” She nodded, as she ran her fingers over the console, pulled another lever and the TARDIS  brought them back to Sheffield. 

 

“Wait? How can we be in Sheffield? Usually, there’s this noise..!”

 

“That’s the brakes. She always leaves the brakes on.”

“Oh, she sucks as a pilot, doesn’t she?”

 

She didn’t know how right she was.


End file.
